I Look Down on Clueless Bitter Feminists and I’m Not Sorry

Amy Glass is clueless and apparently rather bitter.

Amy Glass is a feminist blogger that I’d never heard of before someone sent me a link to this post. Her bio includes links to such gems as I Use My Sexuality To Get Ahead At Work and Hillary Clinton Has Given Just As Much To This World As The Stay At Home Wife In My 11am Yogalates Class.  She also can’t spell very well, but it would be catty to say that. (oops)

I read her arrogant post called “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry” thinking that there had to be a punchline, some merit, some deep social concept that I had heretofore been missing.

Nope, she’s just obnoxious, arrogant, and ignorant.

When did being proud to be a woman mean that you should insult other women and the choices that they make?  Equality, true equality, means that people should be respected regardless of their lifestyle, gender, or race.  Because someone has made different choices doesn’t make them less of a person, or in this case, less of a woman.

If Amy Glass is so “exceptional” as she calls it in her post, then how come I’m doing what she’s doing (writing for a living) AND raising two daughters to be strong, intelligent, and generous young women?  If I wanted to compare, doesn’t that make me more exceptional than Amy Glass, who is clearly just a one-trick pony?

I got married fairly young and had my children shortly thereafter.  And, yes, this changed my life.  Suddenly, I, who had previously been unable to keep a houseplant alive, had to nurture a screaming little human, keep the house organized, manage to make our meager income stretch far enough to keep us fed and warm, and figure out my place in this world.  I had to juggle raising that little baby and bringing in some money without giving all of that hard-earned cash to a babysitter. I started businesses, I wrote and sold articles, and I raised babies. I cooked and cleaned.  I educated my child while making a living – she was receiving on-the-job training at the age of 3. I joined the corporate world when my kids were older and worked in management, making 6 figures running an automotive shop full of awesome guys.  Later, when the father of my children died young, I raised these children without a partner in the picture. Now, I’m living my dream of being a writer, and I stay home with my youngest. This juggling act never held me back on my career aspirations – it made me fight harder to be successful because I had two living, breathing reasons to excel, sitting at home waiting to show me what they colored at school that day.  Through it all, the very most important job I had was raising those precious girls to be strong, independent, and kind.

But Amy disagrees.  Read on for her profound thoughts about motherhood:

Every time I hear someone say that feminism is about validating every choice a woman makes I have to fight back vomit.

Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. It’s hard for me to believe it’s not just verbally placating these people so they don’t get in trouble with the mommy bloggers.

Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average.

When you miss out on the wonder of the everyday miracles, you’ve missed out on the best part of life. If you can’t see the rich beauty in the mundane things that happen every day, then how can you feel that sense of profound joy on a regular basis? How beautiful is it that we can actually grow life within ourselves? There is nothing more staggering and affirming than that, no career or promotion or financial milestone. This should be celebrated the same way every morning’s sunrise should be celebrated – because it happens every day makes it no less beautiful. Shouldn’t the epitome of feminism be our sacred ability to bring forth life? What makes women more unique from men than this? Seriously, what could possibly say “girl power” more loudly and adamantly than growing a tiny human, squeezing it out into the world, and keeping it alive until it becomes a productive, cognizant individual?

And I really don’t understand her belittlement of marriage. What could be more beautiful than finding the love of your life, and becoming committed to a future that is joined together?  This is far from mundane.  People search for years for the right person, and some are never lucky enough to make that connection. Celebrations are definitely in order because this, too, is incredibly profound. Real men add to your life – they don’t take away from it.  They respect women and cherish the differences between the genders. You are truly partners when you balance each other out and bring different things to the table. Being with the right person adds to your life, enhances your adventures, and gives you a sense of security in a crazy world.  Finding love and being loved, giving respect and receiving respect, embracing the differences between you and another person…what could possibly be more deserving of parties and showers and cake than that?

Amy believes that “You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.” Really?  Isn’t part of the gig as a mom exposing your kids to wonderful places? I’ve traveled to 3 continents, lugged toddlers through forests and up mountains just to see the view, and lived in a wood-heated cabin in the northern wilderness just for fun.  I’ve taught my girls how to cook, how to drive a car with a manual transmission, how to crochet a scarf,  how to successfully navigate a meal when they are presented with 11 pieces of flatware and 3 glasses, how to shoot a recurve bow, and how to change a flat tire with one of those dinky manufacturer-supplied jacks. While these things may not be exceptional by Amy’s definition, I can’t think of a single thing I’ve wanted to do in my adult life that has been hindered by the fact that I’m a mother but I can think of a million things that have been enhanced by that fact.

…women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

There is nothing more important than nurturing the next generation.  By offering a peaceful and safe home to your children, they can learn, grow, and become good people. How does Amy think the next generation is going to be as “exceptional” as she is, if they don’t have parents around, teaching them, loving them, supporting them, and caring for them?  How is it “stupid” to create an environment that fosters the future?

These feminists aren’t doing women any favors when they publicly urinate on the traditional roles and the lifestyle choices that we have made.  Now, we are fortunate enough to have the option to stay home with our kids or to go out in the workforce or not to have children at all or to do everything at once and fulfill all of our dreams.  To degrade any of those choices is to actually be the antithesis of someone who supports women and femininity.

Like author Terry Macmillan who recently empowered women by telling those who disagreed with her to “bake more cookies“, Amy Glass tears women down instead of building them up. These “feminists” show their self-purported superiority by belittling other women who have exercised their rights to make different choices.

Suggesting that women who have opted for more “traditional” roles are somehow lesser seems to me the very opposite of female empowerment. Women certainly don’t need  some chauvinistic caveman to tear down their self-esteem with self-appointed spokespeople like Amy Glass.